Deadly Catches
by SherlockSoka
Summary: A crab fleet of ships battles against the seas of Kamino in search of money-making crab. Pranks between the Sepratist and Republic fleets occur. Laughing may lead to suffocation. Deadliest Catch/Star Wars crossover. Rated M for language, violence and gore.
1. Cast and Dedication

**Hey, all you FanFiction-ers out there! This story is dedicated to all the brave souls that have perished in the Bering Sea. I am a huge fan of "Deadliest Catch," so I thought that I should make a Clone Wars version! **

** Here's the cast:**

** _Northwestern:_**

** Sig Hansen: Obi-wan Kenobi**

** Edgar Hansen: Anakin Skywalker**

** Greenhorn: Ahsoka Tano**

** _Coast Guard:_**

** Clones**

** _Wizard:_**

** Keith: Yoda**

** _Kodiak:_**

** Wookiees**

** _Processing Boat:_**

** Jabba the Hutt**

** _Time Bandit:_**

** John: Hondo Onaka**

** Andy: OC**

** _Rambin' Rose:_**

** Elliot Neese: Lux Bonteri**

** I hope you enjoy the story!**

** Signed,**

** Pantalones-de-Queso**


	2. Northwesterns

"What do you mean you hired a new greenhorn?" Obi-wan yelled, spitting his coffee all over the dashboard in the wheelhouse.

"You heard me," Anakin said, leaning against the wall, arms crossed in front of his chest. "You said we were one man short."

"I meant that we should discuss it as a family," Obi-wan responded, giving Anakin a cold glare.

"I thought that I could surprise you with someone qualified for the job. I guess I was wrong," Anakin sighed.

"Well, who is he?" Obi-wan asked, looking at the newspaper, leaning back in his chair.

"Not a he, a _she_," Anakin said with a smile. This time, Obi-wan spat out his cigarette, which fizzled out when it landed in his coffee.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" Obi-wan yelled, cheeks burning with anger. "Every goddamned soul on this planet knows that _women_ and boats _don't _mix."

"I know that." Anakin said with a roll of his eyes, extremely annoyed by his brother's stubbornness. "Listen, she's a really nice girl. I've worked with her before."

"Yeah, in the bed," Obi-wan grumbled, pulling out another cigarette and lighting it.

"Obi-wan," Anakin growled, slamming his metal fist on the table. "We both know that I have a wife and two kids back home, and I need to take care of them. The girl is qualified, and I promise on my life that she will help us with our business."

"Fine," Obi-wan sighed. "If she gets raped by one of the deckhands, don't come cryin' to me."

"That won't happen," Anakin said before walking out the door, rubber rain boots clunking on the stairs. Obi-wan sighed, holding his head in his hand. He looked out at the vast sea, trying to predict how this season would go. Kamino crab fishing was the most dangerous job in the galaxy, it even topped mineral mining on Mustafar. They are lucky; they've got protection from nature. But out there, your boat is simply dust in the wind, vulnerable to danger.

Obi-wan looked at the picture of his wife, Satine. He hadn't seen her or his family in a year. He hoped that after this season, he could take a break and spend time with them. Sometimes he wished that he could just look at her picture all day, but he knew that he had to prep the _Northwestern_.


	3. Shown Around

**The Northwestern**

"Anakin," Obi-wan called over the megaphone. "Get in the wheelhouse."

Anakin sighed as he walked across the slippery deck and into the safety of the ship. After taking off his rain gear, he climbed up the stairs to see Obi-wan talking to a Togrutan teenager. He knew that it was Ahsoka. She turned around with a bright smile on her face.

"Hey, Anakin," she said cheerfully. "I was jus talking to your brother. It looks like this job should be fun."

"Anakin, would you mind showing her around?" Obi-wan asked, hunching over a map of the crab grounds.

"Sure," he said, leading Ahsoka out onto the deck. "Okay, listen up, greenhorn. I'm only going to say this once."

"I'm listening," she said, looking at him.

"You see that platform right there?" Anakin asked, pointing at the launching ramp. "_Never_, _ever_ stand behind that, unless you're opening up the pot. If that thing gets loose, you have a half-ton chunk of steel crushing your ass. Got that?"

Ahsoka nodded, eyes wide with fear. She thought that crab fishing was an easy way to get some cash, but she didn't really believe that right now.

"Okay, next," Anakin said, turning to the back of the boat. "Those are the crab pots. When the guy running the hydros is stacking those, stay the hell away from them. If the waves kick up, you get a half-ton block of steel swinging around."

Ahsoka was ready to run off of the boat screaming by then. And Anakin had only scratched the surface of the ship.

"Ice is now your biggest enemy," Anakin said, turning to face her. "When it gets cold out here, and you've got waves going over the deck, the pots triple in weight. If there's too much ice, we flip over and sink like mother fuckers. Got it?"

Ahsoka almost fainted at that last reason.

"Also, when we're getting close to flipping over, we have to whack all that ice off to keep our weight down below," Anakin continued, tossing her a sledgehammer. "Get used to swinging that sucker. This season will be _cold_."

Ahsoka smiled at him thinking of cold weather. Her smile faded when Anakin's face turned serious.

"And if you think that it will be _slightly_ chilly, you've got a brain problem," he chuckled. "I'm talking about forty-foot seas, freezing spray, and temperatures of seventy-five below zero."


End file.
